Mary Kemp <m...@ajl-electronics.demon.co.uk>

SODAM emerges blinking into the sunlight to the rapturous applause of the huge
throng.

She adopts Declamatory Stance no. 34 but one of the assembly calls for her to
adopt no.36 (similar to 34, but with left arm extended.) SODAM obliges, smiles
at the crowd, then unfurls the Scroll and declaims:

Official BBQ Ode 2002

umra BBQ 2002,
Held inside the Toodle' loo [1] [2]
Yet in their flower-beds, coloured pink,
Smile numerous umrats full of drink;
Dild gloriously takes effect
On several umrats, neatly decked
While from the barbie glowing hot,
Come ribs of GLOUCESTERSHIRE OLD SPOT . . .
Fetched here to the sunny south
Where BUTTER WOULDN'T MELT inside one's mouth.
See what the umrats bring to feast
Cordials brewed from hops and yeast
Ah God! to taste the chocolate cake,
Cheeses, not of HELLEN's make
(They don't smell thrilling-sweet and rotten.
Unforgettable, unforgotten.)
Quiche,and salads, ripe salami
And is that curry BIRIANI?
CRAWFISH, SQUID, apricots, figs
Marmite pork is RUBBISH WITH PIGS
All spread in Toodles' dining room
(CLOCKWISE) A haven of green gloom.

.................................

Topical insert, eighteenth of May:
The rain held off, hip, hip, hooray
.................................

God!  pack, and take a train,
And get me to Reading once again!
-- Oh, damn! We know it! and we know
How to put on a decent show,
And make the day go with a bang
          Or a meringue?

Alas, today, not a chocolate plum,
Their purveyor, our umran chum
Chankel, gone to his rest sublime.
(I hope God's railway runs to time!) [3]
His memory will never go,
For CHAMPAGNE moments we will know.
Hesky gone too, and also Glyn.
Let's raise our glasses, water or gin
Coke or beer: our elbow bends
To drink a toast to absent friends

[1] written on the day, with the sky looking very overcast
[2] Toodle-oo!
[3] I bet it will now.

SODAM furls the ode, bows gracefully and glides gracefully from the dais to
rapturous calls of "Eh?", "Who's that?" "Where's her carer?" etc.

--
SODAM