KSChin <koonsi...@gmail.com>

KUALA LUMPUR, April 18 - Malaysian ministers, deputy
ministers, and other bureaucrats are making a beeline
to Londonto help maths-genius-turned-hooker, Sufiah,
with her high sex drive.

The former and current Ministers of Health have
released a joint statement saying, "We believe that we
can understand Sufiah's positions better and, maybe,
let her know our positions as well by having a
face-to-face meeting with her. We understand that sex
is essential to good health and as the current and
former health ministers, we believe that no one can
provide Sufiah with better health education. Anyway, a
high sex drive is not uncommon and we look forward to
helping Sufiah with her problem, together, if
necessary."

The Education Minister and his cousin, the DPM, are
also traveling to London to meet Sufiah.

"We actually tried to make an appointment with her for
Saturday night but it seems that our boss has got in
ahead of us. She'll only be free on Monday, so we'll
be looking to spend some quality time in Soho until
then - all expenses paid by our ministries, of
course," said the Education Minister with a smirk on
his face.

"We intend to get to her bottom, I mean, the bottom of
her situation, and convince her to work in Malaysia.
We feel that she has many of the right attributes that
can ease the pressure on hard things," he added while
moving his hands around in his pockets.

The Rural and Regional Development ministry is also
sending it's minister, Muhd. Muhd. Taib to meet with
Sufiah.

"She's a smart person. We think that she can
contribute some ideas to the rising decadence in the
rural areas of Malaysia. I hope to see her back in
some rural areas in Malaysia. I also hope to see her
front up. I believe we can come to some natural
position that is best for both of us," said the
Minister with a big grin on his face. "Besides, she
can help me with my maths as I'm always confused about
the amount of zeroes behind the $1 I can carry
overseas."

The Tourism Minister is also one of those who is
looking forward to getting some know how from Sufiah.

"Have you seen the state of Malaysian bushes? I've
seen my fair share of  bushes and I can say that they
are a disgrace? How can  we attract tourists with
bushes like this? She keeps her bush nice and trim and
we need to know how to do that to get more tourists
for Malaysia. I'm going there to gain some first hand
experience in bush trimming from her. I'm sure that
once I get my fingers wet, she'll even volunteer to
come to Malaysia to help in our bush trimming
efforts."

When asked if the Agriculture Minister was not a more
suitable person, she said, "Trust me. I know bushes
better than him."

It is believed that some of the Malaysian politicians
who had lost in the last General Elections had already
met up with Sufiah to get her expertise.

"She is really an act of God! I used to have plumbing
problems but she just orally taught me how to solve my
problems," said one former minister who requested
anonymity.

A MAS spokesman said that flights to London are all
fully booked for the next 2 weeks. - TAKDENAMA