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alt.religion.scientology |
"It is hard for those who have never been intensely involved in
something like the Church of Scientology to understand how difficult
leaving can be.
It can be a shock. Depending on how deeply one was into Scientology,
whether one was on staff or in the Sea Org, it can be quite traumatic
and can take quite some time to recover.
Often, upon leaving, the newly ex-Scientologist still feels that they
are "a Scientologist". If the person has been kicked out rather than
leaving voluntarily, they may honestly intend to carefully follow all
the steps so that they can get back in "good standing" with the
church.
If the person is leaving voluntarily and no longer wants to be
involved with David Miscavige's Church of Scientology, they may need
to hide that fact, because they work for a Scientologist, or because
family and friends are still Scientologists.
It can be confusing and difficult.
Here are a few suggestions that might be of help:
Stop thinking like a Scientologist.
This may be the most important first step. The longer and more deeply
you were involved in Scientology, the harder this step will be, but it
can be very helpful.
One of the major difficulties you, as an ex-Scientologist, face is
integrating back into the real world. You don't know the correct terms
for things, other people don't know what you're talking about. It is
very much like you have just arrived on Earth from an alien planet.
You're talking about "ARC" and "enturbulation" and it doesn't
communicate.
Stop thinking and speaking using Scientology terms. Find out the real
world way to say what you mean and use those terms. At first, you may
find this quite difficult, but the rewards of doing so are tremendous.
One of the side-effects of eschewing Scientology concepts and
terminology is that you become free to think new thoughts. For anyone
in Scientology for a long time, the experience of thinking new
thoughts can be very exhilarating.
Stop following church rules and mandates. You do not have to do things
"per policy" any more. Church policy is for their benefit, not yours.
You do not have to do anything the church "requires". If you need to
deal with the church, find out the standard, real world way of doing
it, and do it that way.
An important part of this is: Do not disconnect from your family and
friends. While they will undoubtedly be forced to disconnect from you
by the Church of Scientology, you are under no such obligation. One ex-
Scientologist said this when a friend tried to disconnect, "I will
never disconnect from you. You will always be my friend." I think that
says it very well.
One note about the myriad of "contracts" you were required to sign by
the church. I am not a lawyer and so, if you have questions, get a
lawyer. But, most of these "contracts" are, in my opinion, invalid.
Think about it. Did you get your own copy, signed by a church
representative? Was the contract binding on both parties? Were you
allowed to obtain legal advice before signing? Was there quid pro quo,
or was it all one sided - on you? In many people's opinion, those
"contracts" were designed to threaten and intimidate Scientologists,
but have little or no legal validity. It's pretty obvious these
"contracts" would be very difficult to enforce in a court of law.
On a related note, those ridiculous "freeloader" debts are not in any
way legal. Just imagine that going to court. "Let me get this
straight, you paid this person how much per week? And now you're
sending them a bill?"
Don't say anything if you don't want to.
You are under no obligation to "disclose all" to the church. If you
work for a Scientologist or you have good friends and family who are
still Scientologists, you don't have to "announce" your departure.
That's church policy -- which you are no longer following.
Now, I have heard that, recently, David Miscavige has been declaring
people "Suppressive" just for being inactive! Can you imagine anything
more insane? If that's the case, even if you say nothing you may
eventually end up "declared" anyway. For this reason, if you work for
a Scientologist, it is important that you work to find another job as
soon as you can. Staying silent about your leaving Scientology may
give you the breathing room to disentangle your life from
Scientologists without too much stress.
You are not "Suppressive"!
Many people who have been kicked out of Scientology, think they are
"suppressive". While David Miscavige can "declare you 'Suppressive',"
you are definitely not a "suppressive person". Because of Miscavige's
insanity, there are probably more "declared Suppressives" than there
are active Scientologists! It's insane and it's meaningless.
Scientology plays on guilt very, very heavily. Despite Hubbard's claim
that "man is basically good", the real basic premise is "you are so,
so guilty". To the church, your thoughts are very bad. You must spend
hundreds of hours and tons of money going through endless sessions to
uncover all your "evil intentions". As a result, Scientologists think
that they are evil, rather than good. That's Scientology in action.
But you are not evil. You were gullible. You certainly made mistakes,
but you are probably a better than average person because you wanted
to help. You got involved in a group that promised to help people. It
didn't, it doesn't, and you left. Seems reasonable, not bad.
Of course, Miscavige doesn't like you, but then he doesn't like
anyone, so who cares?
Some people have the idea that "they failed". Somehow, they "let the
church down". When you have more distance and better perspective, you
will see that it was the Church of Scientology that failed -- and
failed in a big way. If you feel you "failed", give it some time and
you'll see the truth of it.
Get more information!
Being inside Scientology, you've been in an information vacuum. As the
old joke has it, you've been a mushroom: Kept in the dark and fed a
lot of fertilizer. You need information and you need lots of it.
The amount of information available is overwhelming. Some of it is
quite false, much is true but unbelievable. Most of the information
from the church itself is false. It can be difficult, at first, to
determine which is true and which is false.
You have been told, by the Church of Scientology, that the information
will kill you. This is a complete and obvious lie. People have been
reading all of the available information for decades and no one has
even gotten ill from it. You can read it, even the "OT confidential"
information.
A good starting place is Wikipedia.
The information about L. Ron Hubbard, especially the information from
his own letters, his own diaries and his own statements is very
important. This stuff has been viciously suppressed by the church but
you need to know it.
L. Ron Hubbard on Wikipedia
Scientology's banned books
Second in importance would be the stories from behind the scenes, from
high level people who were there and who have the real story of what
went on in church management.
Counterfeit Dreams
After that, read lots of stories from other people who have left. It
is important to know that you are not alone. Others have gone through
exactly what you are going through.
Ex-Scientology Kids
Scientology - Through the Door - Interviews
Ex-Scientologists Speak
There are many resources available to help ex-Scientologists. It is
absolutely amazing. A lot of people have gone through what you're
going through and want to help you.
Leave Scientology
Get in touch with other ex-Scientologists
One of the things that is very helpful in recovering from Scientology
is to talk to other ex-Scientologists. There are quite a number of
forums where you can do this -- even anonymously. This is highly
recommended. At first, you should just lurk and read. When you feel
ready, make yourself known. You never have to give your real name
unless you want to.
Coming out of Scientology, you are probably deeply in debt and may be
looking for new employment. You may be wondering how to get your money
back or perhaps just need someone to talk to who knows what you've
been through. Other ex-Scientologists have been there and are eager to
pass on what they've learned.
Ex-Scientology Message Board
Ex-Sea Org Yahoo! Group (private)
Operation Clambake Message Board
These, and other sites, can be tremendous help. You are not alone. You
have friends."
Posted by Just Bill
http://askthescientologist.blogspot.com/2008/09/recovering-from-scien...