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Another False Lead
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heng...@swirve.com  
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 More options 31 Oct, 07:48
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: heng...@swirve.com
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:48:27 -0700 (PDT)
Local: Sat 31 Oct 2009 07:48
Subject: Another False Lead
After years of painstaking research, I have now ascenrtained that the
slanderous claim that Pippin was secretly betrothed to Goldberry at
the time of the War of the Ring is yet another lie spread by the
scoffers and mudslingers! I'm most displeased. Will the calumny never
end?

Horus Engels


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Noel Q. von Schneiffel  
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 More options 31 Oct, 22:11
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: "Noel Q. von Schneiffel" <noel.von.schneif...@fats.teunc.org>
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2009 15:11:17 -0700 (PDT)
Local: Sat 31 Oct 2009 22:11
Subject: Re: Another False Lead
On 31 Okt., 08:48, heng...@swirve.com wrote:

> After years of painstaking research, I have now ascenrtained that the
> slanderous claim that Pippin was secretly betrothed to Goldberry at
> the time of the War of the Ring is yet another lie spread by the
> scoffers and mudslingers! I'm most displeased. Will the calumny never
> end?

Who claims such falsehood? Tell me who it was, Master Horus, so that I
can not visit his website anymore, so that he will no longer earn
money from ads and starve to death.

The betrothed one was Merry, of course.

Noel


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Sean_Q_  
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 More options 1 Nov, 00:20
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: Sean_Q_ <no.s...@no.spam>
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:20:50 -0700
Local: Sun 1 Nov 2009 00:20
Subject: Re: Another False Lead

heng...@swirve.com wrote:
> After years of painstaking research, I have now ascenrtained that the
> slanderous claim that Pippin was secretly betrothed to Goldberry at
> the time of the War of the Ring is yet another lie

Sheer nonsense of course. Pippin was a Took; that is to say,
pure Fallowhide. They were "taller and slimmer than the others;
they were LOVERS OF TREES...." [emphasis mine]

Now ask yourself where Fimbrethil and the other Entwives really
ran off too?

SQ


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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III  
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 More options 2 Nov, 14:58
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: "Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III" <pseudony...@fats.teunc.org>
Date: Mon, 2 Nov 2009 06:58:16 -0800 (PST)
Local: Mon 2 Nov 2009 14:58
Subject: Re: Another False Lead
On Oct 31, 7:20 pm, Sean_Q_ <no.s...@no.spam> wrote:

> heng...@swirve.com wrote:
> > After years of painstaking research, I have now ascenrtained that the
> > slanderous claim that Pippin was secretly betrothed to Goldberry at
> > the time of the War of the Ring is yet another lie

> Sheer nonsense of course. Pippin was a Took; that is to say,
> pure Fallowhide. They were "taller and slimmer than the others;
> they were LOVERS OF TREES...." [emphasis mine]

> Now ask yourself where Fimbrethil and the other Entwives really
> ran off too?

If you're right, I think we've found out who is TOLKIEN's authorial
self-insertion. (We had previously thought it was Treebeard, because
TOLKIEN was probably a tree. A bristlecone pine, to be exact)

Dr. Lustmolch still insists it was Gollum.


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heng...@swirve.com  
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 More options 2 Nov, 18:18
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: heng...@swirve.com
Date: Mon, 2 Nov 2009 10:18:39 -0800 (PST)
Local: Mon 2 Nov 2009 18:18
Subject: Re: Another False Lead
On Nov 2, 3:58 pm, "Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III"

If you prick hobbits, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they
not laugh? If you set fire to their hairy feet, do they not scream and
run away across the field? And Gollum was in Miami at the time,
learnng to dance the tango.

Horus Engels


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Prai Jei  
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 More options 3 Nov, 21:54
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
Follow-up To: alt.fan.tolkien
From: Prai Jei <pvstownsend.zyx....@ntlworld.com>
Date: Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:54:21 +0000
Local: Tues 3 Nov 2009 21:54
Subject: Re: Another False Lead
heng...@swirve.com set the following eddies spiralling through the
space-time continuum:

> And Gollum was in Miami at the time, learnng to dance the tango.

Ancient lore tells us that that takes two. Who with?
--
ξ:) Proud to be curly

Interchange the alphabetic letter groups to reply


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Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III  
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 More options 3 Nov, 22:22
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien
From: "Pseudonymus al-Faqha'ter III" <pseudony...@fats.teunc.org>
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 2009 14:22:06 -0800 (PST)
Local: Tues 3 Nov 2009 22:22
Subject: Re: Another False Lead
On Nov 3, 4:54 pm, Prai Jei <pvstownsend.zyx....@ntlworld.com> wrote:

> heng...@swirve.com set the following eddies spiralling through the
> space-time continuum:

> > And Gollum was in Miami at the time, learnng to dance the tango.

> Ancient lore tells us that that takes two. Who with?

An infamous Cuban exile courtesan, upon whom Tolkien modelled Shelob.

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Sean_Q_  
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 More options 4 Nov, 02:28
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: Sean_Q_ <no.s...@no.spam>
Date: Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:28:29 -0800
Local: Wed 4 Nov 2009 02:28
Subject: Re: Another False Lead

heng...@swirve.com wrote:
> And Gollum was in Miami at the time,
> learnng to dance the tango.

My sources put him in Buenos Aires, dancing with Evita.

After being caught _in flagrante delicto_ by her husbandman Juan Perón,
Seamgol fled to the Falkland Islands where he tried to pass himself
off as an Adelie penguin. Outraged Argentines pursuing him there
brought about the war with Britain.

SQ


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Öjevind Lång  
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 More options 4 Nov, 08:18
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: Öjevind Lång <bredband....@ojevind.lang>
Date: Wed, 4 Nov 2009 09:18:28 +0100
Local: Wed 4 Nov 2009 08:18
Subject: Re: Another False Lead
"Sean_Q_" <no.s...@no.spam> skrev i meddelandet
news:hcqora$4vd$1@aioe.org...

> heng...@swirve.com wrote:

>> And Gollum was in Miami at the time,
>> learnng to dance the tango.

> My sources put him in Buenos Aires, dancing with Evita.

> After being caught _in flagrante delicto_ by her husbandman Juan Perón,
> Seamgol fled to the Falkland Islands where he tried to pass himself
> off as an Adelie penguin. Outraged Argentines pursuing him there
> brought about the war with Britain.

Seamgol was Gollum's son with an Argentine woman of Irish hobbit descent -
Seanita.

Öjevind


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Noel Q. von Schneiffel  
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 More options 5 Nov, 10:03
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: "Noel Q. von Schneiffel" <noel.von.schneif...@fats.teunc.org>
Date: Thu, 5 Nov 2009 02:03:35 -0800 (PST)
Local: Thurs 5 Nov 2009 10:03
Subject: Re: Another False Lead
On 4 Nov., 09:18, Öjevind Lång <bredband....@ojevind.lang> wrote:

> Seamgol was Gollum's son with an Argentine woman of Irish hobbit descent -
> Seanita.

Yes. Gollum and Seanita, who was a quite pretty woman, were actually
married for 14 months. Here's a photo of the happy couple.

http://forladiesbyladies.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/anna-nicole-s...

Noel


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Öjevind Lång  
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 More options 7 Nov, 22:43
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tolkien, rec.arts.books.tolkien
From: Öjevind Lång <bredband....@ojevind.lang>
Date: Sat, 7 Nov 2009 23:43:42 +0100
Local: Sat 7 Nov 2009 22:43
Subject: Re: Another False Lead
"Noel Q. von Schneiffel" <noel.von.schneif...@fats.teunc.org> skrev i
meddelandet
news:800a69a6-df18-492d-9e6d-275679fd6964@z41g2000yqz.googlegroups.com...

[snip]

> Yes. Gollum and Seanita, who was a quite pretty woman, were actually

married for 14 months. Here's a photo of the happy couple.

Oh, my God. Seanita, how could you? And not only that; my reserach informs
me that they had a daughter who became the ancestress of the Argentine
general and junta leader Reynaldo Bignone; his family name was a corruption
of the boastful by-name "Big One".

Öjevind


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